Household Repair: A Short Story

Household Repair: A Short Story
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Instead of hiring a professional to do the job my husband decided to take the job on along with a German friend of his. While intoxicated, the German climbed the ladder to cut some branches while my husband waited on the ground to navigate and stop branches landing on the road the main road into Kawhia in fact! They were on a roll until both made a mistake. They cut a branch and let it land on a powerline. The line snapped and was flashing around throwing sparks everywhere. My husband was in shock and could almost see his life flash before his eyes and the German was swearing in his native language.

Because these powerlines were the ones that ran into the Kawhia township it cut off the power into Kawhia for four hours until they were repaired. It was a costly lesson that it is sometimes best to call in the professionals rather than a Do It Yourself. From: Lynn. The toilet roll holder had fallen off the wall and left a hole.

Climate change: 'Right to repair' gathers force

My sister brought a can of Space Invader and told her husband to squirt a little bit in the hole so that when it went hard they could put the toilet roll holder back up. Think that's easy? It should be. Her husband squirted the whole can in. The whole wall bulged in the toilet and in the bedroom on the other side. My sister now does any handyman tasks in the house! From: Cara. One day I was converting the outside porch at the front door to a study. The front door was built on the wrong side of the house.

I had to add concrete to level up the slab. I had nearly finished when I ran out of materials. I still had half a barrow load to go. In the distance I could hear the neighbour mixing concrete so I rang him. No problem I will mix half a barrow and put it on the ute and you can drive it back he said.

I drove carefully back, no problem. His dog heard the ute go without him and, not wanting to miss anything, took a direct line to our place, through the swamp. As I arrived he was standing in the wet concrete. Needless to say he got a strong piece of abuse. The dog panicked and ran through the front door down to the far bedroom and I found him standing with muddy and concrete covered feet on my daughter's bed.

He was cornered but no way was he going to surrender. I had to drive back and get his owner to retrieve him. Needless to say the clean up had become a major task and the concrete was going off rapidly. An hour or two later we all had a good laugh. From: Roger. I was decorating the dining room and my husband kept finding jobs to do out on the farm to avoid helping.

Finally I asked him to go up the ladder to strip the highest part of the wallpaper. He moved the ladder and I told him it wasn't secure. Next minute, the ladder started to slip, my hubby fell and the ladder smashed into the back of our wall unit. All the cupboards opened, wine glasses smashed and the phone jack was ripped out of the wall. From: The Bolgers. Shortly before we were married we decided it would be nice to spruce up our very dated formal lounge in our Victorian Terrace house.

While still at the planning stage i. They decided how pleased I would be to come home and find the chore done, so you can imagine my face when I opened the door after a long day at the office to find a three quarter finished lime green lounge. I might add that this was well before lime green was a fashionable colour! I took one look at their still slightly inebriated grinning faces, burst into tears, spluttered 'Change it' and left. I guess I should have been more specific as change it they did - to a vibrant fluoro orange! It stayed that colour until we sold the house to an amused couple a few years later.

Then there was the time when I came home from work to find the same mates again on leave from the merchant navy and again a tad inebriated had decided to help my dear husband remove a wall between a box room and a bedroom. Pity they didn't realise it was a supporting wall, as in supporting the roof! I'm glad I wasn't home for that one!

By the time I saw it, most of the damage had been repaired and dear husband had resolved to never, ever again mention home improvement to his mates at the pub. It has worked, and we are still married! From: Lesley. A friend of mine and I were building a deck on the front and side of the house and also putting a big ranch-slider on the side of the house where there had been no door before. We cut a massive hole in the side of the house for the ranch-slider and then told my wife that we had had enough of the job. We promptly left and went and had lunch at the pub, leaving my wife with a very large hole in the side of the house and a worried look on her face.

Needless to say we came back a little later and fitted the new ranch-slider. From: Bryce.

A friend of ours went to buy a house - a lovely house that looked as though it had been recently decorated. They liked it, put in an offer and brought the place. Then the surprise came when they went to move in. The last people had presumably been in a hurry to paint or couldn't be bothered. Instead of removing the furniture they just went around it, so as you can imagine even with the furniture removed, in some ways the furniture was still there. There were shapes left on the wall depicting where a tallboy was, a chest of drawers, bookshelves and so on.

How frustrating! From: Judy. My Dad wanted to surprise my Mum by painting the bedroom a nice colour that she liked.

He went to the shop and brought a colour that he thought she would like, then went home and painted the bedroom. When Mum came home, Dad showed her his work. She laughed and laughed. Dad asked her what was wrong. She asked what colour did he think it was.

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He said "peach". He forgot he was colour blind! Mum had to go with him the next time to buy another colour. From: Amanda. Thirty years ago we had just bought our first house in London and started redecorating. We chose the regency stripe, cut, pasted, climbed ladders and tried sticking the wallpaper to the wall.

We tried everything, but as we let go, it slid down. As a last resort, we pinned it, using drawing pins for every drop. Two weeks later, we ripped the whole lot off and painted the walls From: Janet. My friend was lowering the ceiling in his lounge by putting up new Michaelangelo tiles. Not liking the idea of painting them afterwards he decided to paint them first. He painted them all, stacked them up and went to bed. Of course they all stuck together! The next day they were inseparable so off he went to buy some more. After eventually getting them up onto the roof and painting them, he found that his hammer was missing!

You guessed it, he'd left it on a beam inside the new ceiling. Not wanting to redo it again, he mumbled something about needing a new one anyway and went and bought one! So much for DIY, it would have been cheaper to pay an expert! From: Kathy. We bought our house a few years ago now with the intention of "doing-it-up" within a couple of years. That has now become the five year plan after discovering that every owner since year dot has "done-it-up" to their taste, leaving layers of paint and wallpaper for us to remove and walls to patch up.

The latest owner, prior to us, was a developer whose idea of wallpapering was to use enamel paint as glue, and who enjoyed papering over large holes made by door handles I believe that almost every wall in our house had one such hole that we would eventually discover. The worst thing that we discovered, however, was during the bathroom revamp, when, upon ripping out the old cast iron bathtub, we found a beautifully woven rat's nest with some of my husband's socks woven in. Everything became clear to me at that stage - the noise in the wall behind my head when I sat on the couch was probably the jolly rat after a pilgrimage to our laundry to pick up another of Scott's socks!

People often talk about the strange occurrence that happens when one out of every pair of socks goes missing, but we know the truth. From: Nikki. I was flatting with a girlfriend in Mt Albert who came to meet me after work and we walked home. As we walked she was a great talker and told me all about her day, as I too shared the various happenings in my day.

The walk took about an hour and as soon as I arrived home a trip to the toilet was in order. Sitting down on the toilet, I noticed it was very wet - she had failed to tell me in all the stories on the way home that she had painted the toilet seat that day!!!! From: Coralie. We brought our first home with some friends with the plan to do it up and sell it. The only piece of DIY knowledge that I possessed was that I knew which end of the hammer to hold and so I looked to my friend Nick for directions.

Nick at the time was a roof layer and would collect all sorts of materials from building sites whether he needed them or not. His motto was 'I'm pretty sure that I could use this'. One month after moving in he brought home a window that he said was a skylight and suggested we install it in the bathroom. Of course Nick had all the gear so we lifted the roof, installed the window, waterproofed it and admired the natural light streaming into the bathroom.

Two months later the window cracked. Then it began to leak constantly. In an attempt to stop the leaks he put down more silicon. There was some improvement - it only leaked when it rained heavily and the wind blew in a certain direction. They moved on after three years and we stayed on for another seven. My wife calls it 'the little water feature that Nick left us' and he is constantly reminded each year when our families holiday together. From: Dawson Family. Last year we decided to repaint our bathroom as we had sold our first home and wanted to make it look nicer for the new owners.

We spent hours painting it all and left the house. We came back the next day for the final cleanup. To our horror, when we walked into the bathroom, the paint had bubbled, and some of it was looking like melted wax!!!! As the new owners were moving in the next day, we had no choice but to leave it how it was From: James. When we moved into our new house, Dad liked everything except the wallpaper, so one weekend he decided to re-wallpaper. This was going well until the weekend ended and there was still a strip to do.

He said he would do it next weekend, but next weekend came along and it was never done. Then months and years passed until finally 10 years later when we decided to move house he wallpapered the strip. It only took 2 minutes to do, the same time it takes to brush your teeth in the morning. I can't understand why he didn't just wallpaper it in the first place when it only took 2 minutes! From: Corey. I prepared some window frames for painting in windy Featherston only to have the wind catch one and take it off the hinges. My wife caught it by the bottom of the window and gently lowered it to the ground, but the whole frame now has to be rebuilt.

From: David. I asked my 20 year old son to paint the passage in our house plus all the doors. He removed every single door and took over a month to paint them. It gave communal living a whole different meaning and I became a lot closer to my family than I wanted to be. I got sick of waiting and finished them off myself. Unfortunately he didn't mark each door as to which room it came from, so I had great fun trying to find which door went with which room.

It is now all back together, thank goodness, but it is the last time I ask him to do any painting around here! From: Janis. My husband is usually really careful with his DIY efforts being a Virgo, but one day he slipped up. I noticed two screws protruding from our dining room wall. He'd used extra long ones to be safe! Fortunately I had some Resene Forest Green left to touch up the damage. From: Angela. We were building a new deck on our house and had the joists etc in place and were saving up for the deck-tread. In the interim we had some loose planks on top for 'safe' passage to and from the sliding door.

I was out there one day having just potted up some seedlings and made my way carefully back along a plank. Unfortunately the end of the plank was not resting on a joist. When I got to the end I went down between the joists and my seedlings became airborne over my head. My visiting friend had to help me back up. I had a big gash on my thigh and she took me into the nearest Medical Centre for stitches. The main thing we learnt from this was just how quickly you can find the money needed to complete a job when you have to.

Also, when stepping out onto a plank -ensure that it is resting on a support of some sort first! By the way - the seedlings landed right side up and other than needing to be pushed back more securely into the potting mix, they went on to grow well!! From: Donna. When I asked him to put up a wallpaper border with an interesting pattern around the top of our high stud bathroom wall, he was reluctant to say the least. But he allowed himself to be persuaded and then, as is the nature of the man, he insisted on doing it all himself.

He chose the border wallpaper "I know where I can get it really cheap! We hadn't actually left the house when the poor old ladder collapsed We got out. On our return he took us in proudly to show us his job. You should have seen his face when he opened the door with a flourish only to reveal the border all in a state of coming off the wall.

Some of it had already curled up on the floor. He couldn't believe his eyes! As we wiped away tears of laughter, I explained to him that, "Some wallpaper borders are pre-pasted. It seemed that the wet border went up alright, but as the water dried out so it came down! The moral of the story and useful Bonus Tips :. My ex and his friends owned a few rental houses in Hamilton. One day we were doing one of them up before tenants moved in. The guys decided they were going to install a shower in the main bathroom, simple right?

Very, very wrong! It was in the middle of winter on what was a very cold day. The shower was installed by three of the boys none of them are the best DIY'ers I have ever known. After a few hours and much abuse towards the poor shower it was finally in. The grand unveiling was announced and the shower was turned on. It actually went, the problem was it went all over the walls, the floor and the roof I'm sure you get the idea! My main worry before breaking into fits of laughter was whether the water would damage the wiring and cause a short circuit.

They finally managed to get the shower working properly and we were able to return to Auckland with a few wet and cold males who were pleased they had finally got the job done. From: Rosemary. Three days before Christmas, my husband Richard and I moved into our first home. Being our first home, it is a DIYer's delight with a pink exterior to be painted, grease stained carpet to be replaced, and lots of other issues we are finding more everyday, funnily enough!

Wanting to enjoy our Christmas, Richard decided to start out with a simple task before tackling the more labour intensive tasks after the New Year. How hard could it be, after all, to get a phone connection into our study so we could have internet access? Deciding to run a phone cable through the roof from the phone jack in the garage, in order to feed it through the ceiling of our study, Richard ventured up the manhole in the garage roof with the phone cable and crawled along the narrow space towards the dining room. As I guided him towards the study, I received a great fright as I saw his foot come flying through the ceiling in the study and plaster flying everywhere.

He had not realised that he was no longer walking along the beam. Managing to correct himself and regain his composure, Richard eventually fed the phone cable through to the study and then returned slowly to the entry-hole in the garage roof. At this stage, I reminded him that he also needed to bring the other end of the cable back with him in order to plug that into the phone jack in the garage, rather than leaving it lying in the roof. When he did return the second time with the cable, the board and plaster he perched himself on in the garage gave way, dramatically increasing the size of the entry hole to the roof.

We now have an internet connection in the study From: Meredith. My Father was put in charge of painting and decorating the lounge. My Mum was forced to take us out of the house because of all the swearing coming from my Dad. We came back a few hours later to a silent and calm Dad. We were all pretty impressed by the job my Dad had done. Mum was relieved and we were off the hook. A couple of days later my Mum went to retrieve some of her favourite cookbooks from the newly decorated lounge. She was dumbstruck when she took the books off the shelves to find my Dad had actually painted around the books rather than take them off the shelves.

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Do the lines feel best when they're short or long? If you have a computer, thousands of poems are accessible online. She's not your best friend, at least not yet, and you can't take it for granted that she's ready to welcome whatever you say. When Cezanne painted a landscape, he chose not to render it photographically even though he had the skill to do so. It's the attention you want, as the poem says, "all of them listening to you. Especially if it has a warranty. Alone in the cold and the dark the traveler senses a consciousness waiting behind the door: he felt in his heart their strangeness, Their stillness answering his cry He knocks again, and then: he suddenly smote on the door, even Louder and lifted his head: "Tell them I came, and no one answered, That I kept my word," he said.

The swearing started again. From: Kuljit. My Dad and brother tried to divide our garage into both a garage and an office. They thought they were pretty handy at stuff like that, putting up plasterboard on the walls and roof and so on. When we went outside to use the computer the next day, the whole floor of the office was about 80mm deep in water!! We were just lucky that the computer hard-drive and all the plugs weren't sitting on the ground!!

I remember, many years ago as a child, Dad fixing everything from a leaking tap to a broken armchair. He managed to spend twice as long on each job, but wow was it done to perfection. This particular day after many, many hours of scraping, sanding and lastly painting, the kitchen was finally completed. It looked fantastic and I remember for a few days' afterward he would sit and admire his handiwork and rightly so.

My Dad went out for a while and my Mum was sweeping the floor rather vigorously. She swept so hard that, to my Mum's horror, the end of the broom handle smashed though the newly painted cupboard door. After much screaming and many choice words she managed to control herself and gather her thoughts. Quickly she flew into action. Dad called and was on his way home. My mother's arms were just a blur somewhat resembling propellers.

Frantically she grabbed the colour chart and matched the same colour on the cupboard, cut out the colour chart colour, glued it to the door and with a quick dash of paint you could not tell it was there. To Mum's and our relief, he noticed nothing. Not bad thinking for a matter of 20 minutes or so. From: Marinava. We had our house on the market and someone had just signed up - it was all a done deal. My father in his wisdom decided that since he had the paint, he would paint the lounge ceiling for the new owners.

He was painting away, then got down to move the ladder, but he forgot that he had a full can of paint sitting on top of the ladder! It went down the newly wallpapered walls, over the furniture and all over the brand new carpet!! I cannot repeat what he actually said. Technically the house was no longer ours. As the new owners wouldn't be too pleased with the big white paint spill, it was all hands on deck in a big hurry.

The sheets got pulled off beds because we didn't have time to look for rags which would have been too small anyway. It took us a while but believe it or not we managed to get every little speck of white paint off the walls and out of the carpet. If that wasn't bad enough - a week later Dad decided to touch up the outside frame of the kitchen window. He was painting away and then lost his footing.

This time he was determined he was not going to spill any paint. One minute Dad was visible through the kitchen window, then he disappeared from view very quickly. We went rushing outside to see if he was okay and to check the damage! There he was lying on the ground flat on his back holding the can of paint upright with a big smile on his face - he managed to not spill one drop!! After that he was banned from doing any more painting - until we shifted! From: Lucy. I looked kind of silly in them though, me being XS and he being XL. They looked like clown pants, but I tied them all together with a belt and thought I'd be right.

The belt kept the pants up alright, and left handy vents around my waist where all the fabric had bunched up. These came in handy when I spilt 2L of paint down my pants! My knickers got soaked with lime green paint and dried to my skin while I was rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter.


I paid for my mirth later though - I had to soak them off with meths!!! From: Emma. A few weeks ago my Mum and Dad decided to repaint all the ceilings in our house because we'd had a leak in the ceiling that we'd just plastered over. With an open 10L pail of ceiling paint at his feet, Dad picked just the right moment to fall off the chair. He got one foot caught in the side of the chair and splashed the other one into the paint, tipping it over and painting what we found after lifting the sheets we'd put down to be quite a large patch of our carpet a nice shade of WHITE!

Needless to say, Mum was not impressed, and a few words were muttered that I'd never heard come out of my mother's mouth in my life! Mum ended up painting the ceiling and Dad went and had a beer. Midway through installing paperfaced plasterboard in our hallway, the telephone rang. When the conversation finished, the phone was put down on a dwang out of the way. At the end of the evening, while standing back admiring the curved piece of wall, the phone rang again.

It was still on the dwang, behind the newly paperfaced plasterboard. In the panic of wetting and curving the paperfaced plasterboard to fit around the wall, we forgot to remove the phone. In the end we had to remove another piece of lining from the other side to retrieve it. From: Andrew. While I was painting the ceiling with white paint, the paint fell off the ladder hook.

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My cat thought it was milk and started drinking it! It's funny to look back on now, but not so funny when it happened with me busy trying to remove paint off the cat without getting more paw paint spread across the wrecked carpet. You can imagine the chaotic scene! Not long after we were married, my wife and I were putting up a curtain rail in our bedroom.

Being newlyweds, we were a bit disorganised as far as having the right sort of ladder to help with the job. I was standing on a wobbly table about the middle of the window, screwing in a fitting for the curtain rail. My wife had a smaller stool and I asked her to place it a couple of feet from the table so I could step off onto it. She placed it not quite where I had pointed, so I said, "No, not there, over there", and pointed to the spot where I wanted the stool placed.

My wife moved the stool, but again not to the spot where I wanted it. Again I asked her to move it. This time she did move it to the correct spot and I began to step off the higher table down onto the stool. However, my wife thought I was being silly about my requests to keep moving the stool, and assumed it still was not in the correct spot. So as I was halfway off the table, and committed to stepping onto the stool, my wife moved the stool!

Of course, now there was nothing for me to stand on, and my momentum sent me falling to the ground, totally out of control. I smashed "head first" into my stereo system in the corner of the room. Fortunately, I wasn't badly hurt, although when my wife saw the blood streaming from my right ear she did scream rather loudly! When I cleared some of the blood away, we could see I had ripped a piece off the top of my ear. My wife does not drive, so I had to drive us both down to Accident and Emergency, get a tetanus shot and a couple of stitches in my ear! The DIY lesson we learnt from this is, don't fool around, and make sure you have all the right equipment before you start!

From: Mark. My parents decided to do up their kitchen and put in nice wooden shelves and a wall oven. They even decided to polish the floors. Halfway through doing the kitchen up I said to my Dad, I wonder what it would look like with the wall between the lounge and dining room gone. Dad's reply was it would open things up but he wasn't too sure if Mum would like it. Before he had a chance to say anything else, I had put a sledgehammer through the wall. Needless to say the wall did go, but they had to remove electrical wires and put in a supporting beam and so on. The conclusion to this story is that I am not allowed to do any decorating and Dad's tip is that if anyone has a daughter like me don't mention renovation.

From: Diane.

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My fussy husband likes to mow his lawns to look like bowling greens. He has been known to sweep dirt from the lawns after holes have been dug and filled in, but it gets worse. After mowing the lawns one day, our cat proceeded to catch and eat a bird on the "bowling green". There were feathers everywhere. What's the best way to clean feathers off the lawn? Yes that right,". From: Wendy. On impulse we decided to buy new carpet for the lounge and dining rooms.

Afterwards we decided that before we had it laid we should redecorate the lounge. We also thought that at the same time we would move a wall to build a windowseat and bookcases. While discussing these alterations with a builder and talking added value, we decided that altering the bathroom would add considerably more value for money to the house than titivating the lounge. However, we could not alter the bathroom until we had shifted the linen cupboard. This could only be achieved by altering our daughter's bedroom to accommodate the new linen cupboard and wardrobe and by shifting the bedroom door.

No walls have been moved, no windowseat and bookcases built. What started out as a simple replacement of carpet to be done by someone else has led from the redecoration of one room to the structural alteration and redecoration eventually of three rooms. It has meant months or perhaps years of no more free weekends or evenings, sore shoulders from too much sanding and a garden overrun with weeds due to neglect. You never know where it might lead. From: Nichol Family.

I had been hounding my companion for months to paint the dingy and dull laundry. We lived in a large, old character house, but the laundry was the eyesore of the house. It only had one small window so the natural light was poor. He kept saying I'll get around to it, but just kept putting it off. He agreed to help put in reticulation at a friend's house and managed to squeeze this in before going away with his job welding for four weeks. Consequently, we had a "little disagreement" about doing other people's odd jobs and not getting around to our laundry. The weekend after he left I decided to do it myself.

I am not that flash a painter, but I thought I would have a go. I thought I did a pretty good job and it did seem to brighten the room up a bit. Two days before he was due back I got a phone call at work. It was my companion. He said he had come back early and had a surprise for me. When I got home he led me to the laundry, where the smell of paint hit me.

The welding job had finished early. He felt bad about our disagreement, and had decided to surprise me by painting the laundry. Do you think I could convince him I painted it while he was away? From: E Regan. After a long, hard day of redecorating our lounge with a blue colour, I stepped out with a mate to have a few beers not realising I had left the door wide open. Our neighbour's 5 year old son Jeremy came in and started to flick white paint everywhere all over my long hard day's painting. When I returned to add another layer I found my girlfriend was just opening the door to see the white dots everywhere.

As Jeremy ran past me with white paint all over his hands I knew right then something had gone wrong. I ran quickly to the door and the look on my girlfriend's face would make anyone scared, I mean VERY scared. It was supposed to be a surprise for her to see her favourite colour on the wall, but then it was ruined by white dots. I knew I had to make up an excuse and fast, so with my intelligent mind I came up with these words 'Honey remember on our first date when we sat underneath the stars, well that is what this is so we can always remember that night'.

Immediately she blushed brightly and she asked me to marry her! I've always thanked Jeremy for doing what he did and he is my best man. From: G Williams. I painted the living room ceiling using a thickish oil paint. To make life easy or so I thought I had the tray on a stool so I didn't need to come so far down the ladder. The stool was about waist height and rectangular, in fact perfect for the shape of a paint tray.

All was going well until my cat decided to help. He jumped up on the stool to get a better view of what was going on. He wasn't pleased to find himself in the paint tray and jumped out and ran around the house leaving paw prints of white paint over my carpet and rugs until I could catch him. Have you tried to hold a struggling cat with paws in the air and wash them with turps? I really only got one paw clean and had to put him outside. From: Sally.

Some friends of ours just bought a house. They were so happy about getting their house that they had everything moved in and set up in five hours. Days went by and then they found the downfalls. My family and I had gone to visit my friends at their new home and my 2 year old was playing in one of the rooms. When he walked out he must have remembered to close the door. When we went to open it we couldn't! We tried everything to get the door open. In the end we had to take the hinges off the closed window from the outside. When we did that, we found that the window was nailed shut. We had to de-nail the window and in doing so found that the area around the window was rotten and had been freshly painted.

We looked around and found that other windows were exactly the same. It pays to have the hawk eye look with you when you buy a new home! From: Tina. I have found it is always best to supervise my husband when painting. Many years back now, when our first-born was not quite two, my husband James set about to give our kitchen a fresh coat of paint. Dad's helper of course wanted to be involved, so James opened the nearest cupboard and found the red food colouring and brushes that I use for cake decorating.

He found a large piece of paper, opened up the food colouring and proceeded to show our baby how to paint like Dad. Once first-born was happily painting just like Dad, hubby returned to his painting and forgot all about our baby he was meant to be supervising. I returned from the shops to find our little chap sitting in the middle of the lounge floor with a large puddle of red food colouring all over the carpet.

Luckily the insurance company was very helpful replacing the carpet. From: Kerry. I painted my deck bright blue and although I had fenced the deck off with cardboard, my cat managed to walk all over the blue paint and then all over my partner's company car! He was not impressed when he saw all the blue paw prints all over his car.

From: Michelle. I heard the funniest way to get your husband to do the painting through my wife's aunt. She told us how she persuaded her husband to do the painting inside and outside of their home. They had been living there for at least 35 years with it never being 'finished'! One day she decided it was time to make things happen, so she started graffiti writing obscene messages on the walls!

He would read them and reply with equally obscene remarks until all the walls were covered with graffiti. Of course, he did the painting eventually. My wife brought me a paintbrush and roller to give me the message, but she ended up starting, which causes me to take over to do it properly! Our house is quarter finished! From: Marcus. I have been watching lots of the DIY fixit jobs and always it's the guy that gets it While at work doing my civil servant duty I got home at midnight in the middle of winter.

The following month it was the wallpaper in the dining room half on half off. Then there's the hole over the fireplace covered now by a mirror, half painted rooms upstairs - and yes I did say rooms, 4 in fact. And I haven't even started with the outside. Three years have gone now and it's still the same.

From: Peter. My parents decided to lift and renovate our 8 year old house, which was still not finished. Mum picked the colour of the upstairs bathroom without Dad and then painted it while he was away. When Dad got back we had a bright yellow bathroom and a big frog shower curtain. He hated the colour and swore and cursed about it, so mum decided to paint over it without sanding or anything. The bathroom is still unfinished and is a half yellow and a half browny colour as the blue paint she used to paint over it was too light.

Dad has promised to sand and repaint it but I'm sure it'll take another 7 years. From: Beckah. During my university summer break I worked on a dairy farm. Between milkings I was set to do odd jobs around the farm. The owner of the farm was a grumpy old man who always resented change with the excuse that the cows wouldn't adapt! One of my jobs was to paint the inside of the milking shed, which was a very dull unpleasant yellow. The son and I took some chipped paint to the store to get a match just as the father had instructed.

At the shop we saw a beautiful bright yellow, so we decided to take our chances. We went home and I painted the milking shed. It was fantastic, the shed looked clean and a lot bigger - it felt like the sun was shining inside! The cows walked in and sniffed at the paint, but otherwise were not worried I think they even liked the change. Then the father arrived. Despite the shed still being yellow he did not like it.

He instructed me to repaint the shed back to the old yellow, all before the next milking so as not to upset the cows!!! Some things never change. From: Lis. My husband is not one to want to pay anyone to do alterations, so he decided to redo our bathroom himself. Our home is a bit of a doer upper and it was taking a long time to get this task completely finished.

We had one piece of Seratone left to go on - the one that runs along the front of the bath. I had waited almost 2 years to have this job done, but he really had done a pretty good job on everything. As I was giving my niece a bath one night I noticed a soft spot in the flooring, only the size of a saucer. I thought, oh well, not a major problem It turned out that all that hard work my husband had done was a huge waste of time.

We had to have the bathroom completely redone by a builder because the floor had rotted, not to mention the rotten walls in the bathroom, the laundry room and part of the hallway floor. But at least I have a new bath and that last piece of Seratone has finally been put up on the front of the bath. Years ago my grandfather and father had built a hayshed over the side of a small cliff towards the back of our farm and it required painting. They rigged up a form of scaffolding on the back of the truck at the bottom of the hayshed and proceeded to start painting the shed with red paint.

Somehow, my grandfather managed to fall from the very top and landed across the plank. Unfortunately, the paint also fell and, like the movies, most of it landed on his head! As my Dad and Uncle rushed to help Poppa, fearing the worst, he sat up and cried "Never mind me, save the paint! They still have a good laugh over this one! From: Julie. My husband is a Jeweller, not a Handyman.

And it shows When we got our new dishwasher, Clint decided he could plumb it in himself quite easily. So he and his trusty cordless drill got out a 5cm approx. He proceeded to drill firstly a hole in the side of the cupboard he didn't install it under the bench, but beside it , so he could get to the waste trap. He then drilled a hole through the floor to get to the water mains, which are under the house. Unfortunately, he didn't check where he was drilling. Once the hole was finished, he realised he could actually see the grass outside through the hole because the top storey of our house slightly overhangs the bottom storey.

How did he fix it? He simply went outside and made another hole in the side of the basement to put the pipe back through to under the house. I think he should stick to jewellery. When I was painting the last room in our old house I ran out of ceiling paint. My darling wife rushed down to the hardware store to purchase the last litre I required to finish the ceiling. She came back with the cheapest paint she could lay her hands on. It was like painting with green milk, splatters everywhere and see through. It took five coats of milk paint before I ran out and then I had to go back and buy a quality ceiling paint and start all over.

My advice is: 1 Don't send your wife to buy paint, 2 Don't try painting with milk, and 3 You get what you pay for. From: Giles. While painting Mum's beach house one day last summer, her partner descended the ladder and got his overalls caught, losing his balance. Thankfully the ladder was firmly in place and could hold his weight. The funny bit was yet to come -a tour bus stopped outside and tourists started taking photos while he just hung there.

From: Anon. Our church was re-building. The concrete had been poured and smoothed over. There were a heap of children from the neighbourhood helping and watching. Most of the day my dear wife was telling the children 'Don't walk on the new concrete'. They were very obedient and walked around it so that it would look nice when it had dried. Towards the end of the day, who was it that came out a door with a tray of cups of tea and muffins and tripped and dropped the lot on the new concrete?

Yes, my dear wife! She will never live this down! From: Stephen. I always thought wallpapering was easy. After all, I had helped my parents often enough, but Dad always did the hanging.

  1. Laura Furman - The Mother Who Stayed: Stories.
  2. Poetry Home Repair Manual - Ted Kooser.
  3. Did That Really Happen?: Stories in Prose and Verse.

When my children were quite small I decided to redecorate. Yes, a patterned wallpaper with lots of animals was going up on the walls - well, it would be when I got down to the job. I cleared the table and spread it with newspaper, measured out the first roll and then swept the large paste covered brush over the paper. Into the bedroom I went with the bottom tucked up just the way Dad had done. I pressed it against the wall and down it went on an angle. I pulled it off and tried again.

Each time it twisted or buckled its way down. Frustration took over as the effects of the time and attempts at hanging the impossible 8' length began to show on the paper. In fury I crunched the large strip of wallpaper up into a ball and threw it on the floor -not a good thing to do when I was already short on wallpaper. I sat and looked at that wall and the strip of paper that had defeated me. I picked up the ball of mushy wallpaper and began to unravel it.

I climbed the stepladder once more. Carefully and slowly I smoothed the creases against the wall working my way down the steps as I went. I stood back and looked at this final attempt. The strip of wallpaper was up in the right place. It was at this point, I learned how forgiving damp pasted wallpaper is. It was almost impossible to see the abuse that had been rendered to that strip but for two small permanent creased marks in just two small places.

I completed the room it looked great before venturing forth and wallpapering my son's room. Many home renovation jobs have been tackled since giving this Kiwi a sense of pride in her own DIY. From: Alyse. My parents offered to help my husband and me build a fence down the driveway. A big working weekend was planned with the arrival of Mum and Dad at noon on Saturday.

My husband and Dad started work with much enthusiasm on the first hole at 1pm. At pm, Dad walked up the stairs holding his head and said that he'd had a bit of a bump, but it should be fine. Upon pulling up to the driveway, I found my husband and not-so-fit mother struggling, determined to get one post in. With a funny look on their faces they told me they were finishing up and would meet us inside. Once in, they told us that my husband tried to use the posthole borer by himself, nearly ripping his arm out of his socket and was now in a lot of pain.

By 4pm we were all packed up inside the house admiring the handiwork from the big working weekend - a solitary pole standing at the top of the driveway - I'm sure it was laughing at us! From: Tracy. Before last year's midsummer hailstorm in the Wairarapa, we were preparing to paint the walls and ceilings in the lounge, and the ceiling in the kitchen. All the walls had been stripped of wallpaper in the lounge and all that needed doing was the ceiling.

Then the hailstorm hit, and the ceiling in the lounge was flooded. We came home to find water dripping through the roof and from the lightbulb as we turned it on!! Thank goodness for the frantically busy on call electrician who allayed our fears about electrocution!!

The insurance painters finally made our ceiling a far finer finish than we could ever have done. We didn't get any replacement carpet however as it was too old, so we decided that this was the time to hire the floor sander and hit the rimu floors. After carefully filling the nails in the main room, we ran out of filler and bought some more from a certain warehouse. My wife spent more time filling, and waiting It seemed to have set, so she began to sand, but the filler smudged everywhere across the nice rimu - any varnish over this and it would look like smears. So she had to get it out of the nail holes and replace it with the correct stuff.

There were no available professional floorsanders able to help, so my wife hired a floorsanding machine. It must have been quite a sight! There weren't many surplus ones to return to the hire centre, let's just put it that way! On varnishing day, it was a stinking hot day and the one detail we had forgotten was to varnish when it's not too hot. As we mopped it on with speedbrushes, it began to set really fast, "Quick" said hubby to wife "It's setting, and quick, there's some pouring down the hole in the floor.

The rest of the job looked pretty good with the lovely varnish, but we now have a mat over the less than perfect area, and hope that in a few years we will have another go, and this time be a little wiser. From: Phil. My husband how many funny DIY stories start like that? He had to drill some new holes for the fitting. While up the ladder with his electric drill he decided to be cautious, climbed down and told me he was going to turn off the power as he would be drilling close to the wiring. From: Stuart Family. Salvar para mais tarde. Criar uma lista. Resumo What is a handywoman to do when her not-so-handy husband decides to retire and help around the house?

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